“So this is it.” Loki whispered as he phased with his siblings through the pitch-black room. The silence of his surroundings caused him to be alert and careful. He could see only several shelves with books and scrolls and bottles. And a good distance to their right was a round platform where the mirror stood draped with velvet. His two siblings were holding his shoulders, as they see nothing but absolute darkness.
“How is it Loki?” Odin muttered.
“I see it.” Loki replied, taking small steps to lead their trio towards the mirror, “We’re alone.”
“Very good.” The eldest brother said again and in his hand, an orb of light appeared as if to guide them. Odin could have done this earlier and wouldn’t have had to rely on Loki’s vision for this but he just wanted to be sure that everything was all right.
As the three of them stepped on the platform, Loki felt his every intake of air getting shorter. His nervousness and agitation was trying to kill him from the inside somehow. Kuan Yin then reached out for the velvet and slowly unveiled the mirror as it lay atop a small round table with long legs.
“This is it.” Odin sighed.
The mirror was half of a normal man’s height. The edges were made of silver carved like leaves and thorns embedded with stones. The surface reflected like a mirror yet looked like calm water.
“I will let you see her, Loki.” Odin’s voice seemed like a knife against the thick silence, “But you must understand, she will not see you. She must not.”
Loki blinked uncomfortably. Seeing his sheer wanting to be looked at by this woman, Kuan Yin spoke, “Daidanpha, it will not only endanger you but her as well. We know the rules, don’t we?”
“I… I guess so. Yes.” Loki nodded, swallowed to affirm himself as his back straightened and said again, “Yes. Yes, I understand.”
“Remember, you must not touch the surface of the mirror no matter what happens.” Odin said, his hand motioning to touch the mirror.
“I understand.”
“Good. Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
“Very well, I’ll begin.” Odin said and the ball of light that lit the area disappeared. A symbol appeared illuminated on Odin’s forehead as he began to chant, “Power of light, be my aid. I am the Aesir Odin, hear me, Mirror of Mimir’s Water.”
The water on the mirror began to slowly be disturbed and it slowly swirled in the frame in which it was enclosed before it began to glow in the light that surrounds Odin. The embedded stones began to shine eerily and a strange wind slowly surrounded the siblings as if to measure them. Kuan Yin took small anxious steps towards Loki who noticed and took her hand.
“Three heads yet only one asks.” Spoke a voice from the mirror. It was uncertain whose voice was it but it somehow resembled the voice of the three siblings that stood before the mirror.
“Daidanpha…” Kuan Yin’s fingers gripped Loki’s sleeve.
Then the water shot out from its frame and in moments, resembled Kuan Yin sitting on the frame of the mirror. Loki and Kuan Yin gasped and the transfigured water spoke, “What are you so worried about, Goddess of Compassion?”
“I… I…”
“I am Shenerah, keeper of the water from this mirror and neither a man nor a woman… anymore.” It spoke again, taking Odin’s voice and form as it shifted its eyes towards him, “God of Knowledge, what do you wish to see or know?”
“Show us Nataku from Midgard.” Odin replied.
“So direct.” It said with a snicker, eyes veering towards Loki and shape shifting in his likeness, “I think it is you who wants it.”
“Yes, it is him but it is I who asks of it.” Odin said even before Loki could open his mouth.
“I see, I see…” Shenerah spoke, voice and form shifting, in between words, from Loki’s to Odin’s, “But since this is the first time you are to ask something from me, there is a price. And this price, once you say yes, I will take from you whether you know it or not. And unlike the Divine Couple, which are atop the Aesir ranking, you are not allowed to choose which will be the sacrifice.”
Loki gulped and felt Kuan Yin’s grip growing tighter on his arm. He was supposed to feel pain from it by now and yet none seemed to come. Slowly, he shifted his gaze towards his brother who was already looking at him. Loki opened his mouth to say something but Odin took the look away, faced Shenerah and said, “I agree.”
“There we go.” Shenerah chuckled still in Odin’s voice as it slowly transfigured back into water and into the mirror. The water swirled and glowed and its once colorless surface began to form an image. Starting from its edges, colors of green, brown, blue and white came in like paint on water. The marble-like surface continued for moments more until they could see a forest. It zoomed quickly through the trees and Loki gulped in every inch of anticipation that caused beads of cold sweat on his forehead.
All of a sudden, the zooming stopped and there was the waterfall where Loki was first charmed by her beauty. The sounds made it feel like actually being there and from the bushes, came rustles. Loki gulped again and from there came Nataku in her white hunting dress.
Time seemed to have stopped for Loki. Kuan Yin’s hold slowly loosened but he failed to notice. She was the loveliest thing he had ever seen for as long as he could remember. He wanted to say her name but didn’t in fear of making things harder for him.
“Beautiful as always!” Nataku’s voice came from the mirror and she was smiling as she looked at the waterfall.
He had longed for her to say his name, to call him somehow not to pray but to speak to him. He had wanted his name to be the last to escape her lips before he never sees her again and yet, there seemed to be no way for it to happen now. And as the God of Darkness looked at Nataku, a single tear slid down his face but he did not know if he was sad or happy at all.
“I…” Loki took one last glance and closed his eyes before saying, “Make it stop.” And a stream of tears trailed on his cheeks. Kuan Yin was looking at him as her eyes brimmed with tears.
“Shenerah, this is enough now, thank you.” Odin told Shenerah but was looking in pity at Loki. No matter how incorrigible Loki was, no matter how wrong it was for Loki to fall into a pit of obsession – or love if indeed it was – over the border of a fling, he could not help but pity him. Odin was to lose something but somehow, it felt like Loki had lost something far more than that. He was so drowned in commiserating that the thoughts of his sacrifice seemed of no value at all.
Kuan Yin was crying now and she was shaking, wanting to touch her brother but could not in fear of heightening his longing. It was the first time anyone of them had seen Loki cry over something – someone – so badly.
“Very well.” Shenerah spoke in Odin’s voice, “And now for the debt.”
Water slowly came out of the frame and began to change form. Loki shut his eyes hard, the pain of not seeing Nataku ever again and of taking something away from his brother mixing inside him. He did not know what would become of him after this or how he could show his gratefulness for his brother’s sacrifice. And Loki continued to close his eyes, not wanting to see what would be taken from his twin brother. He remained frozen, trying to keep his knees strong and his body from shaking. He did not want his siblings to feel a great deal of sorry for him and yet, he knew it was impossible. His insides wanted to burst out of him but he repressed all of it.
No, not now.
He could cry later, scream later – any time but now.
“Loki!”
“Daidanpha!”
The chorus of Odin’s and Kuan Yin’s strained and panicky voices made Loki’s eyes snap open in surprise but even before he could look at either of his siblings, he opened his eyes to the image of Odin. Shenerah had taken his brother’s form whose half was coming out of the mirror. Its hands extended and Loki attempted to back in baffled alarm but was too late. In one sweep, Shenerah’s arms surrounded him and locked together. And amidst the voices of his siblings and the cloudiness of his mind, Loki was dragged into the mirror without even a chance to say anything at all.
Where am I?
It was dark.
Of course it was; his eyes were still closed. He wanted to open his eyes but somehow he could not. The air came in scarcely and his limbs did not want to move no matter how hard he tried. His skin felt cold and damp and he was slowly beginning to go numb. Was he dying? He was still agonizing and longing so he barely cared. He could feel his body being dragged against something and then being placed onto something itchy. If this indeed was death, it seemed new but weirdly familiar.
What happened again?
The last events in his memory flashed back. The image of Shenerah in Odin’s depiction came back to him – arms stretching towards him as it smiled and drew him towards the mirror. The events after the moment he phased through the mirror, if it was indeed what happened, he could not remember. And with this, he thought that he was the offering Shenerah wanted from Odin – his twin brother.
Stupid mirror. What becomes of me now?
There were sounds coming towards him now and a gentle breeze swept against his skin. It was new and yet, his body still did not want to move.
“Don’t die now.”
Nataku.
Loki wanted to smile but couldn’t. It was amazing how he could replay her voice in his head as if speaking to him. And then, he felt his eyes brimming with tears. All of a sudden, he felt nostalgic.
He missed his brother.
Loki was not able to say how grateful he was to his brother for helping him see Nataku again. Of course, Odin did not know what – who – was to be taken as sacrifice and everyone thought that something and not someone was to be taken from him. He was now wondering if Odin missed him and his incorrigibility.
He missed his sister.
Kuan Yin cried with him, shared pain with him. And she wept tears from a sister not a Goddess of Mercy. He and Odin had always loved – will always love – her, the compassionate, delicate Kuan Yin who, to them, so innocent that they had to protect her always. Surely, he would miss being called “Daidanpha”.
He missed Nataku.
Ah, yes. He would indeed miss stalking her, watching her bathe not in a perverted manner – sure, maybe a bit but hey he was still a male god – being awed by her fighting skills, sighing at her beauty and hearing her voice. She had never looked at him and called him so maybe this was why he yearned for her so much. Odin called it a fling, an obsession, something that would pass. And if it would pass, he wanted it to pass now. Had he gone over that edge, that drawn line, that feeling never to be felt by an Aesir for a mortal?
Love?
Yes? No? He was not sure. But he wanted her, missed her, longed for her, and desired her. This feeling was taking him to surprising heights and his imaginations worked twice or thrice as much. He could imagine her touch his face now. His skin was feeling numb and yet he could feel her fingers against his face. And if it wasn’t too much, he would want to hold her, feel her, draw her close to him and kiss her.
And like his imagination going wild, he indeed felt someone’s lips against his. His heart pounded and this feeling made it even harder to breathe. His mouth slowly opened and he tried to move it into a kiss when a gush of air made its way through his lungs from his mouth. He had not yet understood what was going on and why it all felt so real when he felt like he wanted to cough and indeed he did.
Loki coughed out water as he rolled to his side, clutching his chest. Slowly he opened his eyes in strain as he coughed out and air came in like heaven in his lungs. His chest heaved heavily in every intake of welcomed air.
And the God of Darkness sat up, his eyes squinting from the mix of sudden sunlight and shade. It was then that he realized that he was not damp. He was dripping wet! And that itchy thing he was laid on? It was the grass! And as Loki continued to orient himself with his view, he saw the most spectacular thing he could ever lay eyes on or rather, could ever lay eyes on him.
“Are you all right?” said a girl with blue hair and deep blue eyes staring at him.
No wonder all his imagining seemed too realistic!
Loki’s chest continued to heave and if it were because of air or emotion, he was not sure. What he was sure of now was that his heart was rapping madly against his chest as he continued to fathom that Nataku’s eyes were actually looking at him. She could see him! His loss of consciousness probably made him visible to humans.
She was dripping wet like he was. He must have been drowning in the lake and she saved him, dragged him out, laid him down and gave him air. Loki was now beginning to feel very weird and new things as he stared at her. Her face was the most enticing he had ever seen – a face so bewitching with a body so wondrously alluring especially with the white hunting dress. And the fact that she was soaked made him even feel weirder especially that that drenched white hunting dress was clinging to her body in a way that made him gulp and stare even weirdly at her.
“Um… Are you all right?” she asked again.
“A… Ah… Ahh…” Loki’s mouth opened to say something – anything, really – but came out with nothing and he felt heat all over his face. And like a drainage, the energy seeped out from him and panic made him weaker. He was supposed to stutter some more but it came to pass. He was too happy, he fainted.